Finding my footing

Hello to everyone. I hope you are all well!
I have been giving a lot of thought lately to the fact that I about bring up my children with no active father in their lives. I am a divorcee and I am not currently dating anyone nor am I interested in dating at the moment. My current situation makes me put off the idea of dating for a while at least. I have essentially been a single parent for more than 2 years and it does get draining. I do have some time to myself occasionally because my mom and siblings do enjoy my kids and help me with them to an extent. But basically I am doing the single mom thing. And if we are being completely honest, my ex-husband was not really as interested in them as we all wanted. He does call occasionally because he lives far away, and when he comes to visit he does do fun things with them but it is usually short and the kids are always left wanting.
I have spoken to him about this over and over again but recently came to the realization that I can never force him to be what we want him to be.. he is what he is.. and that is that. SO... it becomes a matter of me changing my point of view and picking up the pace on what I need to do for them to make sure they are happy and healthy. No child should have to want for attention when they need it. They are only little for so long and the reality is that they will be grown and set in their ways before you know it and if you don't fix things now.. when they forgive you easily and love you easily..how do you think you are going to make an adult stop and listen to why you weren't there for them. Why your relationship wasn't what it should be.
The cold and honest truth is.. you cant. Sometimes parent/child relationships are so damaged in the young years that they are never repaired. This was the case with me and my Father. When he died just over  a year ago, I had not spoken to  him since shortly after my wedding (which he was not invited to attend) and when he passed.. I went, mostly at the request of my Mom, whom I have a pretty good relationship with, and saw him. He was not able to speak back.. I'm not even sure he knew I was there.. but I was able to let go of a lot of the anger and hate that had built up inside of me from all of those years. I was able to forgive and relieve myself of the burden of all of that left over emotion.
I do not want this for my kids. I don't want an emotional hospital moment when all of this comes gushing out after being carried around for all those years. I wish I could help him understand all of this.
But.. facts being facts.. I cant. You can't change people who don't want to change. It is his relationship to have or not. It is his responsibility to himself and them. I think I have finally been able, after more than 12 years of doing it all, to set aside that responsibility and let it be just his.
Divorce is hard on everyone. Its hard on the kids, the parents, the grandparents and on down the family tree. Its one of those things that you cant control the reaction and you cant fix it all. Only time, respect and love can.
As for me.. I will be there all I can be.. I will do everything I can to help them through this. We are 1 year into this.. and we can do this. We are a team.. we always have been! So we will keep on keepin on!
I hope all of you have a fantastic week and please leave me comments on what you have found over the years either as a co-parent or a single one. Also, please leave me comments on what you would like to see me talk about in the future!
Thanks for reading!
xx Katie