I have found, in this long absence from blogger, that I need something like this. So now that I have a reliable computer back and I don't have to worry about losing a post 2/3 of the way through, I am going to try again.
I have always thought that being a single parent was preferable to living in a marriage that is not worth the paper you both signed. I continue to hold on to this thought as I reach the 3 year mark. 3 years ago this coming November, my now Ex-Husband asked me for the divorce. We had been apart because of his PCS to South Korea for the second time and he was looking forward to moving overseas again when that year was up. We were 6 months in, barely talking 2x a week and I knew something was going to happen. But when that happened I was stunned. I did not know what to do next. For the first few days I walked around and just asked myself what was going on! Was this what my life and the past 10 years of it had been leading up to? Was it all my fault? Was I not supportive enough? And so on it went for a long time. I felt abandoned, betrayed and so very hurt. But as the weeks went on and not long after this I lost my Dad who had not been part of my life in those 10 years, I found myself comforted by the fact that, while I was going to be alone with the kids, I would be WITH my kids! They were mine and he was not even attempting to talk to them or anything. As the silence stretched between us and the papers flowed between our lawyers I found more and more comfort in the simple things the kids found joyful.
Now that I am so far away from that immediate pain and shock, I can see how blessed I am. And while each day is a challenge and some days I don't even want to get up, each one of them has been worth it. I am so glad for those 10 years and those 4 blessings I got from them. I was laughing when one of my friends told me I am halfway though parenting! (my oldest is 12 and the youngest is 6 so in 12 years the youngest will move out and go to college) I told her that I would never be done parenting, it is a life sentence that I will gladly serve.
Now on to the other point from the title.... WOWZERS is dating HARD!!!
I do not think that I have ever in my life met so many wretched writers, spellers, and punctuation users! The abuse of the English language and their lack of proof reading is so painful for me! I know that sounds snobbish but GOODNESS!! It does not take much to hit the spell check button!! I don't think they know what any of these symbols are (.,"':;?/) but they sure know this one (!!!!)
I can tell you that I have seen more evidence of mouth breathers on these dating sites than I ever thought existed! I joined a few now as I am told it is the way to go and to be honest.. I am getting far too old for the bar scene. I am sure that there, somewhere, as I slog through the awful grammar, poor spelling and simply thoughtless posts (I got one message with 4 spelling mistakes and 3 punctuation problems in a 3 sentence message) that one of these examples of the male personality will jump out and grasp me. However I am finding that, because of my multitude of minors, not as many are interested. And that is ok! I want the guy who wants to spend time with me and with them. Not them right away, but someday I want to have regular sex again (Dear God.. do you hear me??) and all that comes with that sort of relationship.
I just hope to be the person that can be both a good girlfriend (anyone else feel juvenile when using boyfriend/girlfriend? We need to make up a new word for it!) as well as a good Mom. It is the balancing act that I look forward to tackling in the future!
